Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
