I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
