Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
