She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
