Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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