do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Randomize
