You're a womanizer and a bitch.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
