I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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