Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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