Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
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