Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
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