as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
