You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
