apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Randomize
