In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
