everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
