Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
