ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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