I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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