Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
