Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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