I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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