How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Damn victory sex feels great
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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