I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize