i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
