He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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