I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
