I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
