Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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