I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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