I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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