Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Randomize
