it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
