no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
