No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
