i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
