we made out on top of his cat.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
