yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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