We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
