I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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