That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
