This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
