Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
