You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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