i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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