Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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