If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
