It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
