She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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