You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
