Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
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