What a fucking waste of an outfit
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
