The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
