I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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