i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
