The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
