Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
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