I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Randomize
